If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
