His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
