walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
