Taylor Swift is so right about you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize