why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
