my sisters under your porch take her home
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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