maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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