anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
