ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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