He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
