Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
