But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
