So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize