i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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