I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
