Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
