we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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