you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
sex in a hospital.. check
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
