i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
