Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
