God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
