It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
