We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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