I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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