the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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