it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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