hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
