She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
