my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Do vagina's smell?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
