can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
