Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
