There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
