PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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