my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He did a backflip because drugs
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