Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
BRING THE BAGELS
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
