Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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