Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
