I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sorry about my life...
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