is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Operation Purity has been aborted
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
