shes about as inviting as chlamydia
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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