i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
