One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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