I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Vodka?
Forever.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
