How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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