We won't sleep together?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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