i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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