three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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