he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
