SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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