i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize