you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
