Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
