Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
