kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
