Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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