I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
high people should be assigned attendants
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
