I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
