I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize