I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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