Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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