are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
