Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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