Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
