I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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