That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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