with your own penis?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
