I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize