Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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