i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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