eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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