I faked an abortion last night.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize