I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
