I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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