Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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