dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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