So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize