I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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