Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We are all done wearing pants today
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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