I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This is my gift to your gina
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
