so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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