No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
