i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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