K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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