i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
