can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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