there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
