You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
