I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize