erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ketchup is God's man juice
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There's a naked man in my car right now.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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