the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
